Because you never wrote me or told me any of the things you tell her
even though you tell me i'm one ou yout best friends you just disappear on the first oportunity.
why is that that you can never trully accept the strongest feelings you have
why is it so bad to have an out-of-standard best friend?

i hope against hope that the relationship we built will not be left to waste
i hope against hope that all our efforts won't be be left to die
hope against hope, i hope someday you'll see it all.

fear

I feel insecure and I don't know why I had a sudenly fear of losing you. I don't know what might be coming but I feel like I can't take any chances right now, like i'm trying to close my fingers as hard as can so my life won't slip through it.
I know I'm pressuring you, I know I'm being very pushy and I know it's not the best way to keep you around but I just cannot help it. I'm so very sorry that you have to, once again, pay for all the shit I got into and those I think I am but don't even exist. That's how my sytem goes on and as much as I don't like it I'm not strong enough to change it.
I wish I could ask you to be patient and hold on to me and be with me as long as we shall live but I know I don't have the right to do it. I've already asked for too much from you, so I just HOPE that you love me and be patient once and again with me
I'm not willing to lose you because of the fear of losing you. weird as it sounds.

Seems like a miracle is working it's way toward me. I'm feeling quite light, happy and accomplished.
My heroes are coming here this year, my baby is becoming someone else. and someone i like much better.

I just have no way to explain how happy I feel.
I just leave here the wish that every and each of you could feel the same.

walking counterclockwise

I starting to believe that I can go on but I still I think I should move out of myself for a while, to clean my mind from all of this.
I'm almost sure this is not going how it is suppossed to be but all in all maybe I'll never know and maybe this will never end. or maybe it has ended a long time ago and I'm way to stupid to figure it out.
if you're going to say how much you hate me, say it out loud, cream it at my face instead of playing your sick little games over and over.
Make this be the last, make it sure and decisive. Put an end to something that has never begun.

heartbroken

but I knew from the very beginning that itt wouldn't work. it couldn't work.
I wasn't made for love, I wasn't created to be love
I am doomed to loneliness for the rest of my life.


"it's so unexpected when we all die alone"

but through all the things you said, all the chances we gave to the destiny
you keep lying, you keep hiding, you keep deceiving, deflacting
I don't want to give up, I don't want to let it go but I don't see another way
I don't know how to make it work since it looks like you don't want to play
the fire is wearing out. tell me if it's worth to use a lighter.

so you think you do really got a chance at love? you dream all day and all night about the guy you always dreamed of and all of sudden there he is.
there he goes treating you like you're the only one. but you are not. you're only one little piece of the huge game he's playing
he's messing around with every girl's heart just like he did with yours.
get yourself back together and don't let it bring you down, you can do better than that.

you WILL do better than him.